ChrisD

I forgot to put the seat belt on my five-year-old boy this morning. As we were leaving the car park, somebody shouted, "You are an irresponsible father!" I said, "Who the !Removed! was that? Stop the car, son."

Driving home today, my wife was boasting about how good women are at multi-tasking, and how there's "No two things a man can do simultaneously that a woman can't". I just sat there, scratching my balls as I reversed onto the driveway.

Some times the simpler the joke the better. Whats got 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog

Me and my wife were struggling for money so we decided she needed to sell herself by the road side for some quick cash. I dropped her off and wished her the best of luck. later that night I picked her up and asked how much money she had gotten. "£400.20" she said joyfully, "which cheap W**k*r gave you 20p?" "all of them!" she replied

Maybe some subaru jokes too? My girlfriend told me i was having a midlife crisis, I was so shocked i nearly fell out of my 600 BHP impreza ! Nobody knows who is going to maintain Bin Ladens legacy... I didn't even know he had a Subaru !

I never understand why they make adult films that are 30 mins long, if it's taking you that long you should be staring in them, not watching them.

Sorry for the late reply, No they can't but each set comes with a wrench end that you use like you would a locking wheel nut key, then you use your wrench as normal :)

Going back to bikes going through red lights .... its not just bikes haha. caught this guy a few weeks ago. you can see the light is on red 21 seconds into the video , 10 seconds later (31 seconds in) he goes straight through it

Don't get me started on bikes ! This guy flew out of a junction without looking onto a 60 limit road. if i need to pass a test to prove i can drive safely on the road why don't bikes? they also need identification plates so the law can **** them like they would do to us if we did this

Yea, its just my car, but i have a few friends coming down in my car. if you could let me know what i need to do that would be awesome :) Thank you guys :D

alternative catch-lines that didn't make the cut for that add... if you kit me at 100 there is probably enough time to get out of there before someone takes your reg.... or if you hit me at 140 i'm defiantly going to die, but at least it will look spectacular ! if i used the footpath, you probably wouldn't have hit me at all. if you hit me at 30 I will ruin your bumper if you hit me at 40 i will ruin your bonnet if you hit me at 50 i will smash your windscreen if you hit me at 60 i will ruin your trousers if you hit me at 70 it serves me right for trying to cross the motorway *jokes aside, try not to hit people :')

I hate that advert. (if you hit me at 30 etc) first off all it's putting 100% of the blame on drivers and non of it on irresponsible parents letting there little kids run out in the road without supervision or prior teachings of the dangers of the road. two you wouldn't be hitting them at 30 unless the kid dived out from behind something and you didn't see him at all, you would gave some time to slow down and would most likely be going 80 if you are going 30 at the time of impact. and three Dogconker is right, in real life you would have already gone past him if you were going faster...

Sorry I'm late to this (i haven't read the past 18 pages) Whats happening with this, any space for me anywhere? or are we closed on this and I should get my own tickets and meet you all down there?

Some drivers don't understand that people like us do 30 in 30 limits because we are sensible drivers not because we physically cant do it. i hate drivers that do 45 in 30 limits and 60 limits, total disregard for the reason why we do certain speeds in certain areas.

Thanks buddy, always nice to have a compliment on your rear end ! hehe will catch you next time !

Less flys on my car for this one! Pictures look great Ash

Awesome pictures Dave. Did you find that guy who was starting up a new site who also took a few pictures? I can't find him anywhere!

Lowered handbrake a tiny bit and seems much better :) feeling stupid!

I did an A level in physics at school a year early ... Thinks makes so much sense and i should know this haha! Thanks Dave :) Also doing 130 to 0 would be around 5.5 G of force... imagine that guy at 9!, Mind you i bet his was more gradual into that force.

Come to think of it, I did tighten the hand break when i first got the car, may be possible its not 100 percent down, will give it a test and what can i do to test calipers short of taking them off?

Hello all, anyone have any ideas on this? when i am driving and drop my clutch, my car (03 impreza 2.0 T) doesnt seem to carry on rolling like you would expect, it seems to jerk as if i had tapped the brakes on? same with changing gears some times, making the drive not so smooth. Any help would be great thank you !

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Clay-Cloth-Company/516078255190610?sk=app_292725327421649 Link for anyone who needs it Jesus 1st place has more votes than i had at the end of the month and its only been 3 Days 0.0

Beautiful car as well may i add !

I managed second last month, Happy to vote for a fellow member :) (Don't worry if people get bored of all the times you ask people to vote, its only a month they will get over it) i sent all 600 friends on Facebook messages asking for people to vote :')

That's a good point, there is some small zip tie mods down in the end the noise comes from. possibly wind coming through this? as long as its not the "your wheels going to come off" noise its not a big issue