July 15, 20178 yr My girlfriend keeps accusing me of being a stalker. Well, she's not girlfriend yet 👀
July 15, 20178 yr I told my wife I had a car made of spaghetti. She didn't believe me until she watched me drive pasta.
July 16, 20178 yr Author 😂😂 the first one made me laff out loud lol Why did susan fall off the swing? Because she had no arms 😐 Knock knock Whos there? .... not susan 😂😂😂
July 17, 20178 yr @hawksti do you realise what you just did, you laughed at a Susan joke from@rps, you've basically just given him a reach around 🙈 Sent from my HTC One M9 using Tapatalk
July 17, 20178 yr Author @mattiekane is only jelous @HawkSTI cos ur my new best bud on here cos hes to buisy with his other friends now
July 17, 20178 yr Other friends....... 14 week old you mean haha Sent from my HTC One M9 using Tapatalk
July 17, 20178 yr Author @mattiekane im fed up of you pushing me to the side.if you hadnt been selfish and had a child i wouldnt feel this way now would i
July 18, 20178 yr @rps..... jees your like a freaking child, now go to your room! Sent from my HTC One M9 using Tapatalk
July 18, 20178 yr Two vampire bats sitting in a cave Dave says to Brian. "Brian I'm fooking starving fancy nipping out for a bite ? "Na "says Brian" its to dark out there they'll be now one about " "Soz Brian I'm going out cos I'm proppa Marvin " says Dave 3 mins later Dave returns with claret all over his face ,staggering about like he's !Removed! . "Fook me Dave you look like you've had a couple of pints to many , where the hell did you find that at this time of night ?" Dave staggers over to the opening of the cave and points outside .... " you know the big rock over there ? "Yeah i know the rock ffs Dave,we fly past it every day " Dave says "Well you see that big tree next to it ?." " Yeah,cause I can" says Brian "Well I fooking didn't "
December 5, 20178 yr On 16/07/2017 at 10:09 AM, Rps said: 😂😂 the first one made me laff out loud lol Why did susan fall off the swing? Because she had no arms 😐 Knock knock Whos there? .... not susan 😂😂😂 BAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂
December 5, 20178 yr [At the shopping center] "Excuse me. I lost my son. May I please make an announcement?" "Of course." [Leans into mic] "Goodbye you little sh*t."
December 5, 20178 yr ME: [Licking lips in anticipation] I'm nervous. I've never done a bungee jump before. INSTRUCTOR: Please don't lick my lips again.
December 5, 20178 yr A police man stopped me in the street the other morning at 4am and asked me “Where do you think you’re going at this hour”? I replied I am going to a lecture on alcohol abuse and the affect it has on the human body, it’s also about staying out too late and smoking too much” ”Oh yes replied the police man, and who might be giving this lecture?” “That would be the wife I replied”
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