AndyXV Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I've had a lot of minis doing it one the other day was doing it when the second lane was car free then thought it'd be a smart !Removed! and try get from lane three to my turn off lane in one Sent from my iphone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gambit Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 Nope not had minis do it yet I'm sure one will few beemers but surprisingly not many. Honda Civic Type-R or Chav Type-R's as I now call them loads of !Removed! with them around here :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaiP Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I find it's the 40mph everywhere brigade that drive up your !Removed! in built up areas. Had someone crash into me when I had my Skoda who was tail gating me through a narrow country lane. When I asked her why she was driving so close, she said it was because she didn't know the road. Some people should never be issued a driving licence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidgy Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Time for me to have a go. So todays choice of subject, Supermarket dawdlers and lunch shopping. Picture the scene, you have survived the morning of starvation and slavery and Lunch time has arrived. You decide the best plan of action is to pop to the supermarket to get something nice rather than go to the mega unhealthy and overpriced canteen and the usual plate of chips. You pull into the carpark at the super market full of hope for the small and quick shop ahead. You walk across the carpark, pick up a basket and head for the entrance,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and bang, you get stuck behind some old codger doing 1 spm (1 step per minute). Ok fine, we all get old can wait a few extra seconds to get in. After what seems like 4 decades has been added to your life, you can finally go into second gear and over take the old dear. Your promptly greeted by a wall of people running at you at 2000mph trying to exit 1 second before someone else, trolleys vying for the leed in what can only be described as a demolition derby. WIth cat like reflex's you dodge the onslaught and manage to get into an isle that isn't like a seen from a zombie apocalypse escape scene. You spot what your looking for and some daft cnut, looking at which box of oxo to get from the 500 identical ones, not only that, the fact they have stopped with the trolley blocking half of the shelf. So you arrive at your destined shelf, still its blocked, you wait politly, you wait some more, still waiting, FFS pick a box already, still waiting,,,,,,,,,finaly you say 'excuse me' they ignore you, you can't possibly be talking to them, you wait even more, finally you say in a very loud voice 'excuse me, can I get to the shelf please'. You get a meek 'o sorry' back and they finally move their trolley just enough so you can stretch so far you put your back, shoulder, arm and wrist out but you manage to get what you want. Hazzar, time to break for the exit. hahaha, really? you really thought that would be the end of it???????? So you hunt for an isle that isn't a scene from raw hide and make decent progress to the check outs. Being lunch, the que is about 50 deep, only 5 out of 20 checkouts on mind you, but at least your on the home stretch. You stand patiently, first couple of people look professional and don't hang around, must be on their lunch as well'. Then you spot them, the moment your heart sinks into the point of no return from totally despair, the the 1spm brigade, they have all day to go do their shopping, but no , they pick the one time where people are gonna be in relative hurry to get in, get lunch, get back to the office. They finally get far enough forward to load items onto the conveyor at 1IPM (Item per minute)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You be the patient and polite person, wait, wait some more, go get your hair cut cos it's grown 3 foot while you have waited, then finally arrive at the checkout. Assuming the attendant isn't a complete c*ck and puts up the 'checkout is closing sign', they scan your items in 10 seconds flat, you pay in 5 seconds and bolt for the door. By this time, round 2 of the dinner brigade are entering and the stampede is on to exit, your their fighting your way through trolleys, avoiding cosmic size crash's. And just as you arrive at the door, 'beep beep beep beep' and security holds the flow. The sudden stop of the people at the front backs up, the crash and bang of the train wreck behind signals all hope for a quick exit has gone. Of course its the trolley with the most items on it that has triggered the alarm, a trolley so full that a panamax ship couldn't even carry all of it, but security insist on checking each and every item off the list, the roll of the receipt is 5 foot long, £235 and 293 items,,,,,,,,, But finaly a break, a true light of salvation, the other door, the original mass entry point has gone quiet. You check around you for space, there is daylight, you take off like Usaine bolt. You hurdle, one, two then three trolleys, making Aries Merritt look like an enthusiastic amature and the sunlight hits your face as you finaly reach the carpark, get to your car and get in. As you sit, you let out a battle cry so loud they hear it back at the office, braveheart had nothing on you as you yell at the top of your voice 'Freedom!!!!' FFS people, if you want to browse, dont go at lunch time you bunch of inconsiderate ingrates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and breath 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gambit Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 Time for me to have a go. So todays choice of subject, Supermarket dawdlers and lunch shopping. Picture the scene, you have survived the morning of starvation and slavery and Lunch time has arrived. You decide the best plan of action is to pop to the supermarket to get something nice rather than go to the mega unhealthy and overpriced canteen and the usual plate of chips. You pull into the carpark at the super market full of hope for the small and quick shop ahead. You walk across the carpark, pick up a basket and head for the entrance,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and bang, you get stuck behind some old codger doing 1 spm (1 step per minute). Ok fine, we all get old can wait a few extra seconds to get in. After what seems like 4 decades has been added to your life, you can finally go into second gear and over take the old dear. Your promptly greeted by a wall of people running at you at 2000mph trying to exit 1 second before someone else, trolleys vying for the leed in what can only be described as a demolition derby. WIth cat like reflex's you dodge the onslaught and manage to get into an isle that isn't like a seen from a zombie apocalypse escape scene. You spot what your looking for and some daft cnut, looking at which box of oxo to get from the 500 identical ones, not only that, the fact they have stopped with the trolley blocking half of the shelf. So you arrive at your destined shelf, still its blocked, you wait politly, you wait some more, still waiting, FFS pick a box already, still waiting,,,,,,,,,finaly you say 'excuse me' they ignore you, you can't possibly be talking to them, you wait even more, finally you say in a very loud voice 'excuse me, can I get to the shelf please'. You get a meek 'o sorry' back and they finally move their trolley just enough so you can stretch so far you put your back, shoulder, arm and wrist out but you manage to get what you want. Hazzar, time to break for the exit. hahaha, really? you really thought that would be the end of it???????? So you hunt for an isle that isn't a scene from raw hide and make decent progress to the check outs. Being lunch, the que is about 50 deep, only 5 out of 20 checkouts on mind you, but at least your on the home stretch. You stand patiently, first couple of people look professional and don't hang around, must be on their lunch as well'. Then you spot them, the moment your heart sinks into the point of no return from totally despair, the the 1spm brigade, they have all day to go do their shopping, but no , they pick the one time where people are gonna be in relative hurry to get in, get lunch, get back to the office. They finally get far enough forward to load items onto the conveyor at 1IPM (Item per minute)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You be the patient and polite person, wait, wait some more, go get your hair cut cos it's grown 3 foot while you have waited, then finally arrive at the checkout. Assuming the attendant isn't a complete c*ck and puts up the 'checkout is closing sign', they scan your items in 10 seconds flat, you pay in 5 seconds and bolt for the door. By this time, round 2 of the dinner brigade are entering and the stampede is on to exit, your their fighting your way through trolleys, avoiding cosmic size crash's. And just as you arrive at the door, 'beep beep beep beep' and security holds the flow. The sudden stop of the people at the front backs up, the crash and bang of the train wreck behind signals all hope for a quick exit has gone. Of course its the trolley with the most items on it that has triggered the alarm, a trolley so full that a panamax ship couldn't even carry all of it, but security insist on checking each and every item off the list, the roll of the receipt is 5 foot long, £235 and 293 items,,,,,,,,, But finaly a break, a true light of salvation, the other door, the original mass entry point has gone quiet. You check around you for space, there is daylight, you take off like Usaine bolt. You hurdle, one, two then three trolleys, making Aries Merritt look like an enthusiastic amature and the sunlight hits your face as you finaly reach the carpark, get to your car and get in. As you sit, you let out a battle cry so loud they hear it back at the office, braveheart had nothing on you as you yell at the top of your voice 'Freedom!!!!' FFS people, if you want to browse, dont go at lunch time you bunch of inconsiderate ingrates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and breath PMSL I call it the Human Frogger :) especially trying to cross the center aisles And matt looks like you have competition on rants now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hardlythere Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 With reference to people who drive on your bumper, I feel for you guys who drive Imprezzas or have any mod that makes your scooby sound a bit out of the ordinary, I've only had my bog standard 2.0 turbo forester for 2 weeks and there seems an endless procession of chavs who want disappear up my exhaust. I can almost hear them saying "well go on then I thought these subarus are supposed to be quick". Usually as we are driving to some country park down twisty roads and I`ve got the missus with me and two spaniels pulling faces at them through the back window. One sunshine, one day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogconker Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I get this and I've got a diesel XV! I think it's the subaru badge people just assume all Subarus want to race and are a target for every Citroen C1 with a loud exhaust. Funny thing is even weighing in at 1.5t and having a diesel I can still ruin a chavs day, I just generally choose not to [emoji41] And I've usually got a springer spaniel in the boot staring back them too in his way for a walk Sent from my iphone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gambit Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 Well I've nicknamed my missus the rev limiter soon starts to go off if I go over 3k revs when she's in the car. But yeah my car does sort of stand out from the crowd a bit. I think Hatchback is the best for being a little bit more easier to blend in with the Impreza's range so little envious their :) But depends what mood I'm in sometimes I just blitz them when I'm in a bad mood other times I sit there looking in the rearview mirror shouting profanities towards them whilst I slow down wait until they go to over take and gear down and just generally annoy them until they get the hint, or similar pull away the let them catch back up and rinse and repeat :D But I always keep in mind these cars do stand out and because I live with in villages I have to travel through I refuse to drive like a complete bellend have 2 in the garage so people soon know where to come if they wanted too. or key scratch my car if I'm in a shop, so if I'm close to home I very really give it loads unless the roads are empty then it's game on :D but it's like my neighbour has a civic type r in red and so does another fool in one of the villages I had a gentleman knock on my door complaining about the driving of said car now which one it was I'm unsure. But it did make me more aware of my driving. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidgy Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 With reference to people who drive on your bumper, I feel for you guys who drive Imprezzas or have any mod that makes your scooby sound a bit out of the ordinary, I've only had my bog standard 2.0 turbo forester for 2 weeks and there seems an endless procession of chavs who want disappear up my exhaust. I can almost hear them saying "well go on then I thought these subarus are supposed to be quick". Usually as we are driving to some country park down twisty roads and I`ve got the missus with me and two spaniels pulling faces at them through the back window. One sunshine, one day. hmm, i do need a new bumper on the volvo, and tjhat dog that ran out in the road is a right menace,,,,, lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savage bulldogs Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Caravanners why the fook you'd want to drag a tin box slowly around the cuntryside and call it a holiday I will never know, let alone do it during rush hour If that's your thing fair enough but why do 40mph in a 20mph limit past a vilage school then continue to do 40mph in a national speed limit [emoji15] only to swerve out when I safely over take giving me hand gestures as I passed (bellend) then try to push me faster through the next village's 30mph limit . He's so lucky I wasn't in my work van as I'd probably hit the brakes hard in the 30 limit just to make him brake hard and smash all his cutlery to bits in his caravan 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogconker Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I used to tow a caravan a lot and trailers. 50mph in a 60 seemed reasonable and signal people past when it was clear. It's not the caravan, it's the drivers, they're often arrogant and selfish unfortunately. Sent from my iphone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidgy Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 reason i dont like caravans? im a man, i need a proper loo to read me paper on,,,, hahahahah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogconker Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 We prefer camping, although when I say camping it's more like a small palace with electricity and tv and fridge, and archive a loo. Our tent is so big you can back the car under the front and unload it with the boot open completely out of the rain (because it always rains when you unpack the car). Caravan will be for when I'm too old and I'll probably have a Hyundai 4x4 to pull it or whatever car has just one towing car of the year. About the same time as I start getting braces for my socks [emoji6] Sent from my iphone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savage bulldogs Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Me and the family have stayed in a static caravan a few times and throughly enjoyed it, although the mrs prefers a holiday abroad due to the optimum tanning conditions [emoji41] but I won't be fitting a tow bar to the v1sti and dragging one around during rush hour any time soon . I was mainly miffed at the blatant disregard for school kids in the 30 limits, lack of consideration for other road users (tailgating me once I'd over took) and the fact that he obviously thought I was in the wrong for safely overtaking on a straight bit of road . 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gambit Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 Static for the win. I live near the sea and get stuck behind 100s of !Removed! caravans. So big no for me on that front. Abroad I always enjoy but not always possible for me to do that as much now. [emoji35] well not this year. But I'm still toying with driving the scoob to the south of Spain to visit Martin. [emoji106] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogconker Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Static for the win. I live near the sea and get stuck behind 100s of !Removed! caravans. So big no for me on that front. Abroad I always enjoy but not always possible for me to do that as much now. [emoji35] well not this year. But I'm still toying with driving the scoob to the south of Spain to visit Martin. [emoji106]I wish 100s of caravans were "removed" [emoji6]I like this country, but have done a few abroad holidays, we generally head north though, last one was in the Arctic (-28 during the day, -44 at night, Lurvly) as you do, I don't like the sun [emoji41] We quite fancy a boat holiday, had one before, great fun Sent from my iphone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidgy Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 think i'll stick to this tar, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gambit Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 I wish 100s of caravans were "removed" [emoji6] I like this country, but have done a few abroad holidays, we generally head north though, last one was in the Arctic (-28 during the day, -44 at night, Lurvly) as you do, I don't like the sun [emoji41] We quite fancy a boat holiday, five one before, great fun Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Me and a friend took our missus for a bit of swinging on the cambridge rivers. Hired a boat just went around the rivers stopping at the pubs along the rivers was pretty good fun really. Nice to get away from the roads a lot more relaxed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gambit Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 think i'll stick to this tar, Oh I want to move there now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogconker Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Me and a friend took our missus for a bit of swinging on the cambridge rivers. Hired a boat just went around the rivers stopping at the pubs along the rivers was pretty good fun really. Nice to get away from the roads a lot more relaxed.Swinging?????We did the Norfolk broads boating, not swinging, very relaxing Sent from my iphone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidgy Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Oh I want to move there now! i know, i wish :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savage bulldogs Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 We're off to crete this year with a couple of long wknds somewhere in the UK before and afterwards [emoji41] Do miss my dog , lizard and the scoob of cause Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidgy Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 We're off to crete this year with a couple of long wknds somewhere in the UK before and afterwards [emoji41] Do miss my dog , lizard and the scoob of cause distance drivable???????? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savage bulldogs Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Yeah will be driving the scoob to the uk breaks and family look after steve (bearded dragon) and liz (English bulldog) so they're no so bad . Just miss them on the 10 day main holiday abroad we have every year [emoji53] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidgy Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 its a hard life in the sun huh,,,, hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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